1
00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:02,854
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
2
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,742
AH HA HA HA!
3
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,258
OH, HELLO KIDDIES.
4
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:38,263
TONIGHT'S COFFIN CAPER IS SO
CRAMMED WITH GHASTLY GREED
5
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,366
SICKENING SEX AND
VOMITUS VIOLENCE.
6
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,636
THAT PARENTAL
GUIDANCE IS ADVISED.
7
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:49,674
SO GUIDE YOUR PARENTS OUT OF
THE ROOM SO WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN.
8
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,376
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
9
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,080
THIS TALE CONCERNS
A GAMBLING MAN
10
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:58,150
WITH A BAD CASE OF DOUBLE VISION
11
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,585
WHO'S ABOUT TO HIT THE HACKPOT.
12
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,155
I CALL THIS TWIN
HELPING OF HORROR...
13
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:06,891
SPLIT PERSONALITY.
14
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,716
♪ AH, THE BUZZARD
TOOK THE MONKEY ♪
15
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,107
♪ FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR ♪
16
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:24,009
♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT
THAT EVERYTHING ♪
17
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,443
♪ WAS ON THE SQUARE ♪
18
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,445
♪ THE BUZZARD TRIED
TO THROW THE MONKEY ♪
19
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,880
♪ OFF HIS BACK ♪
20
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:32,284
♪ THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK
AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" ♪
21
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,320
♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP
AND FLY RIGHT" ♪
22
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,656
♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP
AND FLY RIGHT" ♪
23
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,926
♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP
AND FLY RIGHT" ♪
24
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,995
♪ "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA,
DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" ♪
25
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,830
♪ WELL, THE BUZZARD
TOLD THE MONKEY ♪
26
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,698
♪ "YOU ARE CHOKING ME" ♪
27
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,568
♪ "RELEASE YOUR HOLD,
AND I'LL SET YOU FREE" ♪
28
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,604
♪ THE MONKEY LOOKED THE
BUZZARD RIGHT DEAD IN THE EYE ♪
29
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,008
♪ SAID, "YOUR STORY'S TOUCHING,
BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A LIE" ♪
30
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,487
HIT ME.
31
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,557
I'M SORRY. I'M NEW AT THIS.
32
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:16,627
THESE GREEN CHIPS
ARE WORTH $5.00, RIGHT?
33
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,829
$50, SIR.
34
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:18,898
NO, NO, NO.
35
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,834
I MADE A MISTAKE
I MEANT TO BET 5.
36
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,536
THE BET'S ON THE TABLE.
37
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,837
I MADE A MISTAKE.
38
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,372
THE BET'S ON THE TABLE.
39
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,876
I MADE A MISTAKE. I
CAN'T AFFORD THIS MUCH.
40
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,878
I'M SORRY, SIR. HOUSE RULES.
41
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,880
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.
42
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,152
HIT ME.
43
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,223
19. DEALER COULD HAVE 20.
44
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,826
WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER CARD, SIR?
45
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,262
UH... YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO BELIEVE THIS,
46
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,330
BUT MY KID, YOU KNOW...
47
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,734
HE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
48
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,302
NOW THEY TELL ME
49
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,848
HE HAS THIS KIDNEY THING.
50
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,912
THE INSURANCE WON'T COVER IT
51
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,442
BECAUSE I HAD TROUBLE
IN THE ARMY, IN NAM.
52
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,611
WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER CARD, SIR?
53
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,285
GO AHEAD.
54
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:17,823
YOU MAKE BLACKJACK
ON THE NEXT CARD,
55
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,525
THE HOUSE PAYS 5 TO 1.
56
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,094
IF HE GIVES ME A 2.
57
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,664
100 SAYS IT IS.
58
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,666
YOU GOT MORE TO LOSE?
59
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,168
UH, WHAT THE HELL.
60
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,306
DEAL ME A 2.
61
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,050
HEY.
62
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,184
HEY.
63
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,019
HEH HEH HEH!
64
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,088
THERE.
65
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,389
WHOA, WHOA.
66
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,691
NO, THAT'S FOR YOUR
BOYS OPERATION.
67
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,771
ARE YOU KIDDING I DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND THE GAME.
68
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,495
NO. I CAN'T TAKE IT.
69
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,831
NO. IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
70
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,474
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DAN.
71
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,787
DON.
72
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,276
DON.
73
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,213
LISTEN, DON.
74
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:19,183
IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU,
BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT IT.
75
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,451
YOU KEEP THAT.
76
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,621
MY GUT SAYS YOU
NEED THAT MORE THAN I.
77
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,056
MY GUT NEVER LIES,
78
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,059
LIKE KNOWING THAT 2
WAS WAITING FOR YOU.
79
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,628
LET ME TELL YOU,
2'S MY LUCKY NUMBER.
80
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,632
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE
COME IN TWOS, UNDERSTAND?
81
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:38,703
THE BEST THINGS IN
LIFE COMES IN TWOS.
82
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,705
MAKE IT TWO DOUBLES.
83
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,709
LOOK, DON.
84
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,778
I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.
85
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,215
I'M NOT IN GREAT
FINANCIAL SHAPE,
86
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,651
BUT I CAN STILL CALL A FAVOR.
87
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:56,788
I KNOW YOU NEED A WAD
FOR YOUR MEDICAL EXPENSES,
88
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,189
SO HERE'S THE DEAL.
89
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,227
I GOT AN INSIDE LINE
90
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,231
ON A NO-RISK, TAX-FREE,
LIMITED-PARTNERSHIP INVESTMENT
91
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,867
GUARANTEED TO DOUBLE OUR MONEY.
92
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,702
MINIMUM... 10 GRAND.
93
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:14,139
YOU KEEP THAT CASH.
WRITE ME A PERSONAL CHECK.
94
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,275
GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS
AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
95
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:20,712
INSIDE TWO WEEKS,
WE'RE SITTING PRETTY.
96
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,714
YOUR BOY GETS HIS OPERATION.
97
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,217
FRIENDS DOING
EACH OTHER A FAVOR.
98
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,984
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAN?
99
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,420
DON.
100
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,159
AND HOW WOULD
YOU LIKE THAT, SIR?
101
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,795
HUNDREDS WILL BE JUST FINE.
102
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,802
ALWAYS A PLEASURE, JIMMY.
103
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,473
DON'T MENTION IT, SLICK.
104
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,878
I GOT TO GET OUT
OF THIS SHIT HOLE.
105
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,082
I'M SORRY TIRED OF DODGING FEDS.
106
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,352
SWEET-TALKING OLD LADIES
107
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,460
OUT OF THEIR RAINY-DAY CASH.
108
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,058
ONE OF THESE DAYS.
109
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,261
ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M
GOING TO SETTLE DOWN.
110
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,031
I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT BIG CON.
111
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,300
WHO KNOWS...
112
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,269
MAYBE I'LL EVEN GET MARRIED.
113
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,674
DID YOU PAY ME TO FUCK OR
LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE STORY?
114
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,610
SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
115
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,481
I PAY YOU TO BE, WHAT EVER.
116
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,557
I REMEMBER THE FIRST
TIME I SAW THAT PICTURE
117
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,125
THE PARENT TRAP
WITH HAYLEY MILLS.
118
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:46,130
I USED TO POP A WOODY EVERY
TIME I SAW THOSE TWO DO A SCENE.
119
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,270
I ALWAYS WANTED TO
MAKE IT WITH TWINS.
120
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:58,442
♪ CATERINA ♪
121
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,178
♪ OH HO HO ♪
122
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,680
♪ OH HO HO ♪
123
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,983
♪ WHEN WE KISS, PRETTY
MISS, PRETTY MISS ♪
124
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,118
♪ I'M IN ECSTASY ♪
125
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:09,020
♪ SI, SI, SI, SI ♪
126
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,290
♪ OH, HOW HAPPY
MY LIFE WOULD BE ♪
127
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,693
♪ IF I KNEW THAT
YOU LOVED JUST ME ♪
128
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,462
♪ SAY IT'S TRUE ♪
129
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,464
♪ SAY YOU DO ♪
130
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,700
♪ CATERINA ♪♪
131
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,684
SON OF A BITCH!
132
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,228
TALK ABOUT A WARM WELCOME.
133
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,992
WHAT THE FUCK IS
THIS PIECE OF SHIT.
134
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,679
COME IN.
135
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,749
THANK YOU. DON'T MIND IF I DO.
136
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,386
HELLO?
137
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,276
"ETCHYSON DOBBS BLAIR."
138
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,747
WHAT A GOOFY
LOOKING FUCK HE WAS.
139
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,649
DON'T MOVE!
140
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:21,653
UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS
ALL OVER DADDY'S PICTURE.
141
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,656
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE ANYWAYS?
142
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,157
TAKE IT EASY, O.K.?
143
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,592
I JUST HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT.
144
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,429
I JUST WANT TO
MAKE A PHONE CALL.
145
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,563
I PROMISE.
146
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,509
I'M APRIL.
147
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,144
THAT'S JUNE.
148
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,690
WHAT HAPPENED TO MAY?
149
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,115
EXCUSE ME.
150
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:53,251
PARDON MY ATTEMPT
AT A LITTLE LEVITY.
151
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,564
I'LL JUST USE THE
TELEPHONE, O.K.?
152
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,821
DON'T DO NOTHING.
153
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,390
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
154
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,491
SEE?
155
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,559
I JUST WANT TO USE THE PHONE.
156
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,273
YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME.
157
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,832
NEXT TO THE CASE
OBSERVATORY UP IN OAK VALLEY,
158
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,379
I THINK THAT THIS
HOUSE MIGHT BE BLAIR'S
159
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,114
GREATEST ARCHITECTURAL
ACHIEVEMENT.
160
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,839
GERMAN EXPRESSION
EASTERN INFLUENCE,
161
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,642
50'S FUTURISM.
162
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,988
YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS?
YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS?
163
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,047
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THE MAN WAS A GENIUS.
164
00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:26,050
IF YOU LOOK AT WHO'S
WHO IN ARCHITECTURE,
165
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,985
YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY LISTING.
166
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,420
I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY
167
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,490
WHO TOOK THE INFLUENCE
OF THE BAUHAUS SCHOOL
168
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,960
AND ADAPTED IT BETTER
TO HIS OWN UNIQUE STYLE.
169
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,295
THE GUY WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
170
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,597
I NEED A TOW TRUCK.
171
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,766
DO THAT LATER.
172
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,679
YOU'VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT.
173
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,203
WELL, IT WASN'T A
SERIOUS ACCIDENT.
174
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,739
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?
175
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:48,740
I'M APRIL.
176
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,207
A PLEASURE. AND YOU?
177
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,476
JUNE.
178
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,912
VERY NICE TO SEE YOU.
179
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,846
WE DON'T HAVE MANY VISITORS.
180
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,983
REALLY? GIRLS AS
BEAUTIFUL AS YOU TWO?
181
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,419
I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.
182
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,300
THE OCCASIONAL
ARCHITECTURAL JOURNAL, BUT...
183
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,257
MOST PEOPLE THINK WE'RE NAIVE.
184
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,126
THEY'D LOVE TO TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF US.
185
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:12,155
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WE
WERE WORTH 2 BILLION?
186
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,169
SO THERE I WAS AT SOTHERBY'S.
187
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,304
WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND,
PRESTON CHATFIELD.
188
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,839
THE HYANNIS PORT, CHATFIELDS.
189
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:27,278
AND I WAS READY TO MAKE A
BID ON THIS EXQUISITE LAMP.
190
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:32,016
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I NOTICED
A TINIEST SCRATCH ON THE FINISH.
191
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,519
I SAID, OH, MY CAT DID
THAT TWO YEARS AGO.
192
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,588
THAT LAMP USED TO
BE IN MY COLLECTION.
193
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,589
COULD YOU IMAGINE.
194
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,358
DO YOU LIKE CATS?
195
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,692
DO I LIKE CATS?
196
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,696
SOMETIMES I TRUST CATS
MORE THAN I DO PEOPLE.
197
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:53,983
SOMEBODY CALL FOR A TOE TRUCK?
198
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,741
I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST.
199
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:02,213
WELL, LADIES THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY.
200
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:07,418
I HOPE I DIDN'T CAUSE TOO
MUCH OF AN INCONVENIENCE.
201
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,821
I AM TRULY HUMBLED.
202
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,171
MR. STETSON?
203
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,727
MY SISTER AND I...
204
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,428
IF YOU'D CARE TO COME BY AGAIN.
205
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,300
I FIGURED I MUST OF DIED
AND WENT TO HEAVEN.
206
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,769
AT FIRST I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT
WHY A COUPLE RICH BABES LIKE THAT
207
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,138
HOLED UP LIKE HERMITS?
208
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:31,775
HEY, WHEN FISH COME TO
YOU ALREADY IN A BARREL,
209
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,312
A GUY CAN'T COMPLAIN TOO MUCH.
210
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,748
SO, I WENT TO WORK.
211
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:44,288
♪ EVERYBODY LOVES
SOMEBODY SOMETIME ♪
212
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:50,194
♪ EVERYBODY FALLS
IN LOVE SOMEHOW ♪
213
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:55,900
♪ SOMETHING IN YOUR
KISS JUST TOLD ME ♪
214
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,401
♪ MY SOMETIME... ♪
215
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,906
AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY,
216
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:06,343
THEY STARTED TO COME OUT
OF THE SHELLS THEY WERE IN.
217
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,345
ICEBERGS STARTING TO THAW OUT.
218
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:14,151
♪ THERE'S NO TELLING
WHERE LOVE MAY APPEAR ♪
219
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:19,791
♪ SOMETHING IN MY
HEART KEEPS SAYING... ♪♪
220
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,527
I WAS REELING
THEM IN, ALL RIGHT.
221
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,930
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
222
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,300
I ONLY WISH THERE
WERE TWO OF HIM.
223
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,937
THEN THE DAY CAME I
HAD TO MAKE MY MOVE.
224
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,873
I HAD TO GET EACH OF THEM ALONE.
225
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,042
AND WHEN I DID,
226
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,244
THAT'S WHEN THINGS
GOT REAL INTERESTING.
227
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:50,955
YOU SEE, DADDY DESIGNED
BOTH BEDROOMS EXACTLY ALIKE...
228
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,758
LIKE TWO SIDES OF A MIRROR.
229
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,460
KIND OF LIKE ME AND JUNE.
230
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,562
OH, YEAH?
231
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,963
MM-HMM.
232
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,631
WHERE IS JUNE ANYWAY?
233
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,567
APRIL? OH, SHE WENT OUT.
234
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:07,004
HASN'T BEEN OUT OF
THE HOUSE IN MONTHS.
235
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,472
JUNE'S ALWAYS BEEN
236
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,475
A LITTLE MORE OUTGOING
THAN ME, ANYWAY.
237
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,979
WE NEVER NEEDED TO GO
OUT BEFORE DADDY DIED.
238
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,981
WE FOUGHT OVER HIM CONSTANTLY,
239
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,550
BUT NOW WE HAVE EACH OTHER.
240
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,486
YOU TWO ARE PRETTY
CLOSE, AREN'T YOU?
241
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,488
INSEPARABLE.
242
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,824
UNTIL NOW.
243
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,492
SHE SEEMS SWEET.
244
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,495
OH, SHE IS... UNLESS
YOU CROSS HER.
245
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:32,564
COME AGAIN?
246
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,098
WELL, I MEAN,
247
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,101
EVERYONE HAS A
DARK SIDE, DON'T THEY?
248
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,070
THE SIDE YOU DON'T SEE.
249
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,983
SHE'S GOT A TEMPER, HUH?
250
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,773
ALMOST LIKE A SPLIT PERSONALITY.
251
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:47,245
I CAN'T SEE YOUR SISTER
OR YOU HURTING A FLY.
252
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,713
YOU DON'T KNOW.
253
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,783
LOOK, I WOULD NEVER
SAY THIS TO HER,
254
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:55,286
SO IT'S GOT TO BE OUR
LITTLE SECRET, O.K.?
255
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,955
MY SISTER AND I
DON'T HAVE SECRETS.
256
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,625
WE SHARE EVERYTHING... 50-50.
257
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,195
BUT THIS MIGHT
HURT HER FEELINGS.
258
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,964
YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU?
259
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:12,536
SEE, I'M AFRAID YOU TWO
AIN'T EXACTLY IDENTICAL.
260
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,772
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
261
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:17,520
ONE OF YOU IS A
LITTLE MORE BEAUTIFUL
262
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,610
THAN THE OTHER.
263
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,550
NO OFFENSE, BUT FOR A
COUPLE OF WALLFLOWERS
264
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,419
WHO DON'T GET OUT MUCH,
265
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,855
THESE TWO MAKE
YOU LOOK LIKE A NUN.
266
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,330
I GOT THEM IN THE
PALM OF MY HAND.
267
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:43,233
EITHER ONE WOULD MARRY
ME IN A NEW YORK MINUTE.
268
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,871
ALL I GOT TO DO IS
POP THE QUESTION.
269
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:50,441
BUT THAT ONLY GETS
ME HALF THE FORTUNE.
270
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,578
THEY BOTH GOT EQUAL
SAY IN EVERY CENT...
271
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,581
50-50.
272
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:03,587
THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT
ALL IS IF I MARRY BOTH OF THEM.
273
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,088
PPFFT.
274
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:10,093
AND THE ONLY WAY
I COULD DO THAT...
275
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,095
HUH...
276
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:16,600
IS IF THERE WERE...
277
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,702
TWO OF ME!
278
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,115
TWIN BROTHER? TWIN BROTHER?
279
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:24,541
I WAS EMBARRASSED
TO BRING IT UP TILL NOW.
280
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,077
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
281
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,879
HIS NAME IS JACK.
HE'S IN SOUTH AFRICA.
282
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,559
WE HAVE HOLDINGS THERE.
283
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:35,019
BUSINESS DEMANDS THAT ONE
OF US STAY THERE AT ALL TIMES.
284
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,132
HE STAYS THERE A MONTH.
285
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,123
I SPOT HIM THE NEXT.
286
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,192
THIS MEANS...
287
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,191
YOU'RE LEAVING?
288
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,660
I'M AFRAID SO.
289
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,161
IT'S ONLY FOR A MONTH.
290
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,398
MY BROTHER WILL BE
HOME IN A FEW DAYS.
291
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,477
I TOLD HIM ABOUT YOU TWO.
292
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,101
MAYBE HE COULD DROP
BY FOR A LITTLE VISIT?
293
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:55,606
BUT, I MUST WARN YOU, HE'S
MORE OUT GOING THAN I AM.
294
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,152
HE'S NOT AS EDUCATED
OR WELL SPOKEN.
295
00:17:57,176 --> 00:18:00,377
YOU KNOW HE TALKS
THAT CALIFORNIA JARGON.
296
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,245
AND HE'S VERY FLAMBOYANT.
297
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,188
WHOA, LADIES.
298
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,558
VIC TOLD ME YOU
WERE RADICAL BABES,
299
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,060
BUT I MUST CONFESS
300
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:19,330
TO BEING TOTALLY STOKED
AND OVERWHELMED, YOU DIG?
301
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,831
HEE HEE! HEE HEE!
302
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,734
HA HA HA!
303
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,670
♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR MILAN ♪
304
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,172
♪ TOO SEXY FOR MILAN ♪
305
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,174
DO YOU, APRIL DOBBS BLAIR,
306
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,177
TAKE THIS MAN TO
HAVE AND TO HOLD
307
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,179
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH
308
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,182
AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
309
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,684
I DO.
310
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,191
DO YOU, JUNE ETCHYSON BLAIR,
311
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:51,194
TAKE THIS MAN TO
HONOR AND CHERISH
312
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,196
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH
313
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:56,199
AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
314
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,701
I DO.
315
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,203
BY THE POWERS VESTED IN ME,
316
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:03,074
I NOW PRONOUNCE
YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.
317
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,210
BINGO.
318
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,672
HO! HEY! SHUT THAT!
319
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,152
CHARLIE CHAN, EXCUSE ME.
320
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,277
I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE,
321
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:43,013
BUT I'D LIKE TO
CATCH A FEW ZZZS.
322
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:47,985
DO YOU MIND? GO PLAY
SOMEPLACE ELSE, O.K.?
323
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,486
CHARMING.
324
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,925
SEE? NICE AND
QUIET, CALM, SERENE.
325
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,694
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
326
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,929
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
327
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,364
HA HA HA!
328
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,704
LIFE'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT, WONG?
329
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,812
♪ APRIL LOVE IS FOR
THE VERY YOUNG ♪♪
330
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,200
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
331
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,217
THAT WE CAN PUT
THE PAST BEHIND US?
332
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,131
WE DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
333
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,522
DADDY WOULD HAVE
WANTED IT THIS WAY.
334
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,858
I WISH BOTH OUR HUSBANDS
335
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,861
COULD BE WITH US
AT THE SAME TIME.
336
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,765
WE COULD ALWAYS SHARE.
337
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:54,518
DARLING, WHY CAN'T I COME
WITH YOU TO SOUTH AFRICA?
338
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,988
I TOLD YOU IT'S HOT, IT'S
STICKY, YOU'D HATE IT.
339
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,793
WHEN'S YOUR BROTHER
COMING BACK ANYWAYS?
340
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,596
JUNE MISSES HIM SO MUCH,
SHE'S BESIDE HERSELF.
341
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:09,300
TOMORROW NIGHT. WHY IS
THIS DRAWER ALWAYS LOCKED?
342
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,669
WHAT THE HELL'S IN IT, ANYWAY?
343
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,604
WHERE'S MY SHIRT?
344
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,107
OH. THANK YOU.
345
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,544
HONEY.
346
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,045
WHAT?
347
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,614
YOUR BACK.
348
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,683
OH, YEAH, YEAH. I
GOT A LITTLE SUNBURN.
349
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:29,686
SUN'S A LOT HOTTER
IN SOUTH AFRICA.
350
00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:32,490
I'LL TELL YOU, THE
MAN IS AN ANIMAL.
351
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:36,560
LAST NIGHT, HE TIED ME
TO THE BED WHEN WE...
352
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,628
YOU KNOW.
353
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,630
AND IT WASN'T THE
FIRST TIME EITHER.
354
00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:41,932
YOU'RE KIDDING.
355
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,434
VIC DOES THAT TO ME, TOO.
356
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:45,936
NO!
357
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:50,474
THEY'RE ALIKE IN
ALL SORTS OF WAYS.
358
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:53,510
WHEN JACK TOOK
OFF HIS SHIRT FOR BED,
359
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,512
HIS BACK WAS ALL TANNED
360
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:59,216
EXCEPT FOR THIS
LITTLE PALE STRIP.
361
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,651
YOU'RE KIDDING.
362
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,520
JUST BEFORE VIC LEFT
FOR SOUTH AFRICA,
363
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,155
HE SUNBURNED HIS BACK.
364
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,823
HE HAD THE SAME...
365
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:09,960
THING.
366
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:57,908
♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY HAIR ♪
367
00:22:57,977 --> 00:22:59,710
♪ TOO SEXY FOR THIS EARRING ♪
368
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:00,877
♪ TOO SEXY ♪
369
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,680
♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS HOUSE ♪
370
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:04,881
♪ TOO SEXY... ♪♪
371
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,150
HEY, HONEY!
372
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,286
YOU TWO BITCHING BABES
BETTER BE GETTING DRESSED!
373
00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:13,723
I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR THE
MOST AWESOME FEAST EVER!
374
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,556
GET THE FUCK OUT.
375
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:49,937
"TWINS ACQUITTED
OF FATHER'S DEATH
376
00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:51,628
BY JUVENILE COURT."
377
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,865
YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING!
378
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:06,176
HEY.
379
00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,577
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
380
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:08,678
WHAT'S GOING ON?
381
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,714
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
382
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,282
WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING?
383
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:14,651
LET ME GO. LET ME GO.
384
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,388
HELLO, DARLING. HELLO, DARLING.
385
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,757
O.K., SO I LOVED YOU BOTH.
386
00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:23,026
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
387
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:25,061
DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY?
388
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,796
DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY?
389
00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:29,399
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER.
390
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,935
I'M NOT SAYING YOU DID ANYTHING.
391
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,337
EVEN IF YOU DID, WHAT THE
FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE?
392
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,806
WHAT DO I CARE?
393
00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:39,109
GIRLS, YOU WERE
FRIVOLOUS LITTLE KIDS.
394
00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:42,646
WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DID?
395
00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,281
WE DID DO IT.
396
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,450
WE SHARED EVERYTHING.
397
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:49,386
WE DIDN'T WANT TO
SHARE HIM ANYMORE.
398
00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:51,255
IT WAS TOO HARD.
399
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,935
WE WERE TOO SELFISH.
400
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:55,526
LIKE NOW.
401
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:58,028
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
402
00:24:58,097 --> 00:24:59,463
WHERE'S SHE GOING?
403
00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:02,499
WHERE'S SHE GOING? HEY! HEY!
404
00:25:02,568 --> 00:25:03,600
WHAT'S SHE DOING?
405
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:05,509
I'M GOING TO LET
HER DO THE HONORS.
406
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:06,604
WHAT HONORS?
407
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,273
SHE WAS ALWAYS THE
MORE OUTGOING ONE,
408
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,974
RIGHT, JACK?
409
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:20,450
HEY!
410
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,986
HEY!
411
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:25,055
SCREWBALLS!
412
00:25:25,123 --> 00:25:26,322
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
413
00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,792
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. COME ON.
414
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,227
GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT!
415
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:33,097
ARE YOU CRAZY?
416
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,796
♪ AH, THE BUZZARD
TOOK A MONKEY ♪
417
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:47,411
♪ FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR ♪
418
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,379
IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW, HONEY.
419
00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:50,881
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
420
00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:52,528
♪ THE BUZZARD TRIED
TO THROW THE MONKEY ♪
421
00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:53,918
♪ OFF HIS BACK ♪
422
00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:57,387
♪ THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK
AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" ♪
423
00:25:57,456 --> 00:26:00,490
♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP
AND FLY RIGHT" ♪
424
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,894
EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
BE ALL RIGHT FROM NOW ON.
425
00:26:03,963 --> 00:26:05,874
♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP
AND FLY RIGHT" ♪
426
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:09,867
♪ "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA,
DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" ♪♪
427
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:34,825
I GUESS, VINO VIC, THOUGHT HE COULD
DOUBLE HIS FUN AND HIS BANK ACCOUNT.
428
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:37,227
TO BAD HE WAS ONLY HALF RIGHT.
429
00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:41,231
OH WELL, IT JUST
PROVES THE OLD SAYING.
430
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,733
BEHIND EVERY BAD MAN
431
00:26:43,803 --> 00:26:45,936
THERE'S TWO WOMAN
432
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:47,771
WITH A CHAIN SAW!
433
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,073
HA HA HA HA HA!
434
00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:56,346
SO, KIDDIES, CARE FOR A
LITTLE MAIM OF CHANCE?
435
00:26:56,415 --> 00:27:00,350
DEADS, I WIN, TAILS, YOU OOZE!
436
00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:02,853
AH HA HA HA!
437
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:08,258
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
438
00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:12,863
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org...
439
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,238
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF
CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
440
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:20,982
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE